Forward to the 20th century

This is the 21st Century. Actually it's not. South Africa was colonised. Prospered. Developed. Built industries. Received majority rule. Hosted a world cup rugby event. Everybody thought, wow, Africa can be different.

I am writing this in complete darkness. Three times a week, for a four hour period, we are in complete and utter darkness because South Africa is unable to supply sufficient electricity to keep the lights burning. Surely in the 21st Century there is electricity? My Dad was born in 1920. They had candles when he was growing up. Their fridge contained a huge block of ice delivered regularly to them. If that's how it was in the twenties then surely I'm still part of the 20th century. Shirley and I just ate our meal by candle light. Hmmm, you might think that's part of sexy foreplay. Not so. Sexy meals and foreplay these days is with the lights on.

I had better become more in tune with Africa's huge advancement and instead of teaching people to drive cars I'll start a new profession and teach people to ride horses.

Why not? Our northern neighbour from whom I've been in exile for the past twenty-eight years has shown true African democracy. Hold an election. Let the people vote. That's democracy isn't it. But wait! Do the people vote for the opposition? It can't be! We've got people so scared they daren't vote for anyone other than the dictatorship. What happened to all the votes from all those dead people? You mean the people still don't want us? But we've made sure there aren't any whites owning farms. We've stopped the western capatalist economy whereby people produced goods for payment. We;ve increased inflation to 1000% per month. Don't the people know anything. I mean even South Africa's president knows. He alone has the guts to stand against world opinion and admit there isn't a crisis in his northern neighbour.

So I'll just put my watch back eigthy years and enjoy life.