It's a strange, strange world we live in, Master Jack

These were the words from a nineteen seventies song by the Four Jacks and a Jill. I think they sum up the feelings of probably every generation from Adam until now. The Lord says (in Ecclesiastes?) that there is nothing new. Do I believe the Bible tells the truth. You bet. Why? Because it has actually been proven true so many times. No this is not about God and whether he exists or not, but I do hope if you don't believe in God then one day you will. What it is about is how thoughts progress I suppose. How did I come to blog about war or murder in my previous post? Shirley and I spoke briefly about it because of the statement in the news that Vlok and Co. were going to be prosecuted for trying to bump off Frank Chikane. That then led me to start thinking about my days in the Rhodesian war. What progressed from there was viewing archive material about Rhodesia and the B.S.A.P. and amongst other things, inevitably for me, Land Rovers. But for a change I don't want to talk about Land Rovers. What I noticed in this period of searching the internet about Rhodesia was where many Rhodesians are today. And I began to wonder why are they where they are. Why am I where I am?

On an Emmaus walk I heard the statement that if you have no idea who you are the world will tell you who you are. This I heard later in life than I wished I'd heard it. Especially when it comes to the extension of this and that is if you have no idea where you want to be then the world will tell you where it wants you to be. For many years I've not wanted to be in Johannesburg. But because I've allowed myself to be here, here I am.

I take my hat off to those who are where they want to be. Fortunately in life we can often rectify mistakes. However to anyone younger than me who might be reading my ramblings then take life with both hands, give it a good shake and know what you want from it. Never be dictated to by the world. Lead rather than be led. Follow your dreams; and indeed make sure you have dreams.

Circumstances will to a certain extent be instrumental in foiling plans but they can be overcome. Sometimes it takes time, but never give up. For a while I gave up. But no longer. Maybe age makes you realise time is getting short to achieve what needs to be achieved, but nonetheless we need to go for it. When I left the secure employment for the world of self-employment I decided that I was, at 39, young enough to make a change and too old not to. I did not want to look back on my life and say I wish I had taken the plunge and I wonder whether it would have worked. I would rather be able to, as now, say I'm glad I tried. Has it been all roses? Well, yes frankly. This year has been difficult but it has taught me some lessons.

So in one way I am where I want to be, that is self-employed. Okay I chose a profession that is not the most high paid but I enjoy it. But I need to realise another part of my dream that I have always been too scared to do and that is to move. Now it is even more difficult to do and that is because my children live here.

So to answer the question I posed earlier. Why am I where I am? Well briefly because I was too scared to take the plunge and move. Why are my children here in Johannesburg? Also because I was complacent. Just think they could have been somewhere more agreeable.

This now leads me onto another thought and that is what would they be doing now had I taken the plunge and moved from Johannesburg, but I won't go down that route for a while.

But I must add a concept that makes my reasoning about why I'm where I am more difficult to put into context and that is God's plan for our lives. Does he care where we are? You better believe it. Am I here because it's God's plan? Not necessarily, because I haven't always followed a righteous life and make plans often without consulting Him, so therefore His plan might be for me to be on an idyllic island in Fiji. Maybe His plan for me is just to worship Him no matter where I am. This is also another thought process now and one which I don't have the theological know how to answer. I suppose it's back to the drawing board or I suppose I should rather say back to the Bible, and seek God, to find the answer to this one. Aaaargh! Stop blogging now Kevin before I find too many things to have to sort out.

Hmmmm. It is indeed a strange, strange world. Or maybe it's just me.